Compassionate Care
Everybody has opinions toward suffering. Most people do not like it much and for good reason. Believers of faith always attribute suffering as necessary and as God’s plan. Some even believe that suffering is God’s way of reminding us that he is there, so that when one sees another person suffering he may exalt him. Suffering may also be a punishment from God for previous sins or sins of ancestors. Sometimes it is random, following the concept of being at the wrong pace at the wrong time. Some people are just unlucky sometimes. Whichever way one looks at it, it is an inescapable part of living. Several people such as Harold Kushner have attempted to discuss suffering. He certainly did it from a religious point of view. Kushner watched his son suffer and eventually die from a degenerative disease. Being a man of faith, he struggled to understand God’s plan for putting his son and his wife through the misery. His theory was that God sympathized with his people during suffering. However, he could not do much to alleviate the suffering. This is a tricky aspect to refer to God as being powerless during his people’s trials and tribulations, and yet he was powerful enough to create a whole universe. This concept is absurd to the common person, as it offers no solace whatsoever to the sufferer or the families involved. What would be the point then of suffering if at least no good can come from it? (Kushner, 2012).
In the case of Deborah Migliore and Dr. O’Mahony, Deborah has a serious cancer and the good doctor had to break the news of her subsequent suffering. The doctor is an expert at telling distressing news to terminal patients like Deborah. Professionally, he is a palliative specialist. He is charged with the responsibility of managing the few days she has left while advising her based on her condition, of the ways to live the few days comfortably. The doctor states that advises people on the best way forward, managing the few days left instead of spending every waking minute in a drab hospital room connected to machines. That is a sad way to live to any person. O’Mahony himself had experience with death when his brother passed away from cancer. He states that he watched his parents go through the pain of losing a child, and that was what steered him to palliative care. His job is not without moral dilemmas as many of his patients confront him with the question of stopping life support for many of his patients. He also has to deal with the consequences with questions and concerns from family members. According to the doctor, older people tend to be more receptive to morbid news. This is because most old people have lived their life. The concept of death is not too surprising to them. Patients that do not have family are also more receptive to the news, mainly because they do not have much reason to stick around. The doctor rarely has any relations with family members once the patient has passed away. His focus is usually on the next patients and their suffering (Hartocolis, 2009).
According to Henry Nouwen, suffering can be easier with support from family and friends. A listening partner goes a long way to alleviating the suffering of a loved one. Sometimes, support is the only thing that a family member needs especially founding their need on the fact that they are aware of their imminent death. A dying man also needs acceptance. People that know and accept that they will die suffer that much less than the ones that are in denial. The ministry of a dying man involves concern for the dying in a personal capacity (Nouwen, 1990). Connections made even in the final moments can last long even in death. It is for this reason people often volunteer to read to the dying, to share final moments with people that do not have a family or friends because it is crucial not to feel alone in death. There must also be hope even in suffering and death. There exists hope that something better is waiting the dying, and hope for the living that suffering is not without its reasons. The pain is a part of a bigger, better plan created by the almighty compared to the one a person lived. Henry is a minister that has witnessed the consequences of suffering in his congregation (Nouwen, 1990).
All three stories make valid points on the concept of suffering. It is better to incorporate the lessons from all three rather than apply the lessons individually. For instance, Kushner’s thought that God is powerless in diminishing the suffering of his people. Applying Henry Nouwen’s perspective, however, one must have hope that their suffering is a part of a bigger plan. Even in God’s powerlessness, friends and family can reduce the difficulty that comes with dealing with the suffering. Palliative experts, despite the criticisms they receive should not be blamed for offering making suffering easy for the sick and their families. If anything, people should applaud the doctors for their work. It is necessary to note that it must not be easy for them as they are humans too and they sympathize just as any normal person would. The concept of calling to God during the dark times is not as mediocre as Kushner describes it. One must have faith that God will comfort the loved of suffering and one must be able to leave their worries and cares in His hands. For those that do not believe in religion, palliative care would be an excellent alternative. The family members can place their control in a person they can see and feel which is different when people place their trust with God. The concepts of suffering are difficult to demystify and understand. The individuals would be in a better position to decide how to deal with their suffering based on their religious orientations and their living situations. Palliative care is an extra expense but compared to all the medical bills incurred during and after treatment of terminal illnesses it serves as a safe alternative.
To conclude, people cannot make decisions on suffering until they have experienced the suffering themselves, either by being the sufferer or by relation to the sufferer. One cannot begin to fathom the pain or the frustrations that are associated with suffering and people that have not had the experience should not judge the people that have. To each his own and so long as decisions made do not interfere with the lives of others, then people should be left alone to their beliefs or their wishes.
References
Hartocollis A. (2009). At the End, Offering Not a Cure but Comfort .The New
York Times. Retrieved 8 March 2013, from
<http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/20/health/20doctors.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0>
Kushner, H. S. (2012). The book of Job: When bad things happened to a good
person. New York: Nextbook : Schocken.
Nouwen, H. J. M. (1990). The wounded healer: Ministry in the Contemporary Society. New
York: Image books.
