Life as a House
An assessment on the Relationship between George the Father and Sam the Son
Life as a house is a perfect example of a family unit whose sole bread winner is trying to rebuild the family relations as well as the house structure itself. George Monroe, the Father, happens to be an industrious character in the film that has been in a marriage for almost fifteen years followed by a divorce from his wife. George also sees the feelings laid out by the son and solely embarks on trying to re-build the connection that the father and son once and ought to have. Bolton displays the various means that an individual in the case of George would react in dissimilar manners in handling the situation (Bolton, p.177). Thus the natural assertions that are employed by the father in the film are of utter confidence and concern towards the welfare of the family (Bolton, p.177).
Using the reconstruction of their own home as a means of rebuilding their relationship, George embarks on a mission where he is trying display assertion in the relationship of the relatives (Bolton, p.178). Sam however portrays signs of disinterest in the activity. After the loss of his job at a firm he has been working for the last twenty five years, his son still does not want to show any signs of interest or sympathy towards his father George or even the rest of the family. The adolescent years of Sam Monroe are really catching up on his attitude and intelligence where he opts to become engaged in self-destructive activities in his life. Instead of taking time with his family for console and connection purposes, Sam chooses to spend time doing other activities with his teenage pals from high school after the schooling hours in their institution (Bolton, p.6).
In the book people skills, Bolton Roberts emphasizes on the purpose of human interaction stating that the interactions are usually with a negative or positive purposes (Bolton, p.11). The author claims that each and every moment with other individuals ought to be of an opportunity to grab hold of the situation and discover the means of expounding the relationship and also building the identity of each person and include the destruction of another person’s individualism (Bolton, p.16).
What were the barriers to communication?
The components that hinder the communication necessary for the relationship between the father and the son in the film mainly includes the adolescent life of the child and failure to comply with the behavior of the child, by the father. A point in the film reached where by Sam Monroe clearly demonstrated to his father the little significance George played in his life by shouting to him how much effort he would put into evading time with him by doing anything else outside of that activity (Bolton, p.31). Explaining to Sam the need for the bond especially after the divorce incidence in the children’s’ lives also became futile as they did not understand the purpose of the break up as everything in the parents’ relationship seemed “perfect”. Emotions that were created by the two relatives were apprehended as regret and hatred feelings among the family, becoming hard for the father and son to understand the statement s and rules set about in their lives (Bolton, p.19).
Bolton argues in his editorial that the variety styles of communication in the lives of individuals are mainly learned reactions (Bolton, p.21). According to the film, influential actors in the field of communication mainly include the parents of Sam and the parents of George, from the side of the divorced wife. Models of effective communication according to the book are not present in the home environs in the lives of the individuals. Therefore, the components that appear to be natural in the relationship of the father and son in the film are the hindering factors in the communication (Bolton, p.34).
How did they perceive one another, the alterations change and steps were taken to alter perceptions?
George at some point in the film seems to have obtained a notion that there exists an unhappy personality in Sam and also in every aspect of his life. Sam’s situation greatly reminds him of his early teenage life and mainly his life prior to the divorce that took place in the late years of his career. Sam on the other hand thinks of his father as a non-understanding person in his life that did not cater to his needs of maintaining the family shape and structure over the years. Modifications towards the relationship and perceptions in the family and particularly the father and the son had been made effective thanks to the conflict management skills that the father enhanced in the family after the divorce of father and loss of his job (Bolton, p.43). The statements made by the father included the building of a house in the same neighborhood and become able to reconnect with the son and also become independent of the house from his father (Bolton, p.45). Some of the efforts to apply for the re-union of the family by the son come when they take part in the relationship between the father and son include a relationship between Sam and Alyssa Beck, a pretty classmate Sam takes for summer vacation. A connection between the divorced wife and George also rekindles as the neighbor Robin also grows fond of the two families that live close to their residence (Bolton, p.49).
Identify notable examples of non verbal communication.
In the film, the father argues out the point of the reconstruction of the house to Sam and his son does not seem to come to terms with the point of the consultation according to the father. Coming to terms with the issue at hand becomes a priority in the relationship crisis that the father realized existed between him and his only son (Bolton, p.81). His son then stares at the father in a manner that the father interprets as a rejection of his work and efforts to reconnect with him. Without an uttering of a word, the son also uses the same aspect of non-verbal communication when the father notifies the family of his shortened living period by the disorder of cancer where the family cries and shows signs of grief in their faces (Bolton, p.98). Although the author of the editorial people skills points out the significance of listening to other individuals gestures and enquiries, there little requirement by the same activity in terms of time implying the need for non-verbal communication between the parties much emphasis is laid out and understood under such circumstances (Bolton, p.30).
How did they express ideas, feelings?
Bolton explains that carious means of expressing and coping with tight situations in their lives are taken in different ways. For instance, Ordering is a means of explaining found in the book as a means setting out a coercive force within an argument and relationship in the individuals lives (Bolton, p.156). George used ordering methods towards the son in the old house while trying to figure out the pattern used in the construction means applied. Moralizing is also a method of coming to terms with the solution of the situation brought up within the lives of the individuals (Bolton, p.175). George utilized the same means of methodology in the film while trying to explain the reason for divorce between him and his wife, Sam’s mother. With the use of assertion messages by the son and the divorced mother towards the father and neighbors have been able to revive the relationship of the family within (Bolton, p.175).
Being a difficult means of explaining the reason for the divorce, instilling the reason into minds of the teenagers of the family became possible only when referring to the moral values and social perspectives (Bolton, p. 147). Bolton explains the need for coming to terms with differences of listening and hearing of which both aspects define crucial parts of communication between two people. The weight that listening has on the expression of feelings in an individual matters greatly in the communication pattern in the lives of individuals (Bolton, p.209).
Work Cited:
Bolton, Robert. People skills: how to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1986.
Huggo. Plot Summary for Life as a House. New York: The internet movie database, 2001.
