Bad Behavior in Children
The behavior of children is subject to a number of factors that relate to curiosity, miscommunication, immaturity and the desire for independence. In this regard, while parents try to nurture respectful and self-controlled children who can fit into the real world, they should acknowledge the role of developmental behaviors in children’s bad behavior. Psychologists attribute curiosity as a key factor in the bad behavior among children as they tend to experiment in the world around them. For example, a child might dip a mobile phone in water out of curiosity on what would happen. However, an adult who sees such an act is likely to label the child as naughty. Because children have poorer communication skills compared to adults, miscommunication is likely to arise and appear as bad behavior as children often communicate through actions. For example, a child who does not want to play may seem naughty by hurling toys to other children. Because maturity in children depends on the stage of development, caregivers should understand that immaturity is an aspect of child growth and development as evident by their uncontrolled behavior. The concept of right and wrong among children is very vague when compared to teenagers and adults. Children encounter numerous hurdles in the world around them and require ample time to comprehend what other people expect of them. While mature people have learned the importance of controlling their emotions, children rarely check their emotions as exhibited in their frequency of throwing tantrums. Human desire for independence is evident even among children as they attempt to do things on their own. Parents, who are very protective of their children, perceive their pursuance of independence as an act of rebellion. Experts in child development attribute most cases of aggression among children to the desire for independence and frustrations as parents hinder them from testing their abilities.
To discipline children effectively, parents need to understand the behaviors associated with child development and incorporate them in their approach for identifying unacceptable behavior. The process of disciplining children should be such that they understand corrective measures directed towards them and still appreciate their parents’ love and support. The disciplining technique that a parent adopts depends on factors such as the age of a child, his temperament, special needs and delayed development. Consideration of these factors is relevant in ensuring that the child effectively internalizes rules and develops acceptable behavior. Parents in charge of infants should develop a schedule that encompasses and regulates matters related to the feeding, sleep and play of a child. The parenting approach should seek to develop autonomic functions, which are important in nurturing a sense of predictability in infants. In addition, parents should develop schedules that minimize overstimulation of children while at the same time facilitating the development of infants’ ability to tolerate frustration. Considering the age, parents should not subject infants to disciplining techniques such a spanking and time-out.
The behavior of early toddlers largely entails experimentation with the physical world and pursuance of independence. In this regard, parents in charge of toddlers should exercise a lot of tolerance and patience. However, disciplinary interventions are important at this stage of child development because it helps to safeguard children’s safety by limiting their aggression and destructive acts. Parents should monitor the activities of toddlers to ensure that there is no repeat of bad behavior. Measure such as withdrawing a child from unacceptable activities and redirecting them the other forms of engagement while ensuring proper explanation on the corrective measures, ensure that the child understands the parent’s firmness on behavioral patterns. For example, redirecting a toddler from playing with a breakable glass to playing with a ball, which is a more appropriate activity, gives the child a cue about acceptable behavior. Experts in child development assert that disciplinary measures, such as time-out, are ineffective in toddlers because of their susceptibility to the fear of abandonment. In addition, early toddlers have poor verbal communication skills, which hinder their response to verbal prohibitions (Disciplining Your Child, 2013).
Parents in charge of late toddlers have to deal with the increasing pursuance of independence and self-assertion, which often leads to temper outbursts as children try to overcome their limitations. Parents require a lot of empathy and tolerance because despite their seemingly rebellious behavior, late toddlers may be expressing their frustrations in experimentation as opposed to the display of anger and defiance. The caregiver should consider a child’s achievement capabilities and behavioral patterns in setting rules and regulations to minimize case of frustrations. Disciplinary measures should involve redirecting a child and verbal explanations, which help to regulate the child’s behavior. For example, when a child displays temper tantrums in public, the caregiver should extract the child from the scene, wait for the child to regain control and then give the child some reassurance. At the preschooler and kindergarten-age, children have undergone a lot of experimentation and most of them have accepted the reality on various limitations. In this regard, children behave in a manner that seeks the approval of other people and adjust their scope of self-reliance to address the immediate needs. However, although children have learned a lot in earlier stages, they have only internalized a few rules as evident by their poor judgment, which may lead to bad behavior. In this regard, caregivers should present children with appropriate behavioral models, which they can use to adjust their own behavioral patterns. Considering that preschool and kindergarten-age children interact with a large number of people, the scope of disciplinary measures and behavioral patterning should encompass other adults. Preschool children have a great understanding of verbal prohibitions, which allows caregivers to increase verbal rules and instructions, although lengthy lectures about bad behavior may be counterproductive. However, supervisory measures are still important to ensure that a child follows directions with safety. Disciplinary measures such as time-out and logical consequences relating to bad behavior are appropriate for preschoolers and kindergarten-age children as they promote the concept of taking responsibility for one’s actions. In addition, motivation of good behavior through approval and rewards is efficient for children. For example, when a preschooler draws on walls, the caregiver may use time-out as a measure to allow the child to think about bad behavior. Afterwards, the caregiver should use logical consequences, such a directing the preschooler to clean up the wall, so that the child understands the consequences and responsibilities associated with certain behavior.
Caregivers in charge of school-age children will often encounter numerous instances of conflict as children pursue independence. School-age children act autonomously and thus, their choice of activities and friends might not concur with that of their parents. While allowing some aspect of autonomy is important for the development of self-reliant individuals, caregivers should continue to supervise and direct their children appropriately. Parents should set rules that ensure the child acknowledges that all the important decisions are within the parent’s domain. The ability of school-age children to make sound decisions suffers due to the limitations of poor reasoning and judgment. Caregivers should not use excessive praise and approval, but only encourage good behavior. Furthermore, parents should direct the use of motivators to the enhancement of a child’s personal trait and qualities. Disciplinary measures for school-aged children should include time-out, logic consequences and the withdrawal of privileges. For example, a caregiver should delay replacing destroyed toys so that the child learns that destroying toys will mean that there will be no other toys to use for play. The peak of parent-child conflict is during adolescence because of factors such as peer-pressure, rebellion against family values and rules, and the tendency of teenagers to distance themselves from parents. Parents in charge of adolescents require a lot of commitment in terms of availability, readjusting of rules so that they are noncritical and less belittling and minimizing lectures. Despite their rebellious nature, adolescents yearn for parental guidance and approval. To ensure that adolescents do not adopt bad behavior, caregivers should embrace approaches such as contracting with their children without compromising on basic rules and regulations. Disciplinary measures should incorporate logical consequences without arousing a sense of confrontation. For example, when an adolescent takes a car without permission and has an accident, he should take accountability and pay for the repairs.
Adjusting disciplinary measures in accordance to children’s age helps caregivers mould individuals who can coexist peacefully and cooperatively with other people, respect the law and avoid harm. Children’s behavioral patterns and ability to socialize depends on the rules and limits that they have learned and internalized throughout various stage of development. The variation in values, belief systems and culture highlights some disciplinary measure as more acceptable compared to other methods of disciplining children. Therefore, the caregiver’s approach in disciplining a child should encompass all factors that ensure a child has skills and knowledge acceptable to other members of the society. In nurturing discipline, the caregiver’s discipline should be of key concern because caregivers who inconsistently apply disciplinary measures will cause children to develop bad behavior. Furthermore, harsh disciplinary measures, such as verbal and physical abuses, are likely to have counterproductive effects.
References
Disciplining your child. (2013). Retrieved from http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/discipline.html
