Arranged Marriage
Introduction
The aspects concerning arranged marriage are in most cases related to the aristocratic and royal families in the entire world. Most of the communities that practice arranged marriages always consider the cultural aspect of the families involved. In almost all the arranged marriages, a guardian always connects the couples, while they are still children. A guardian, who must be an elder member of the society, will connect the children together in an early stage. “The couple ensures that the relationship is maintained until marriage” (Lamanna & Agnes 89). However, the guardian does not play any role when it comes to deciding the actual time of marriage. The choice of the time to get marriage depends on the couple and the society. “Arranged marriages still exists especially in South Asia, India and Middle East in nations such as Saudi Arabia” (Divakaruni 93).
In the Saudi Arabian society, a woman living alone ruins her reputation and that of her family members. For this reason, it forces almost all the women to acquire a partner to get married to at an early stage of life. “In the Saudi Arabian, arranged marriages dominate hence almost all the married couples get married through matchmaking” (Zuhur 65). A guardian that is closely related to the woman is in most time involved in arranging the matchmaking process. However, the women must first be familiar with the man who will be a lifetime partner. “The guardian represents the woman in the matrimony and engagement ceremonies” (Shetty 74).
During the arranged marriages, the engagement ceremonies are the climax in which the couple not only use the rings to establish the marriage bond but also sign a contract. The couples sign the contract of marriage just to reveal to the entire society that they are ready to live for their lives together. In the Saudi Arabia society, the guardian is always the father also known as her wali. “The key function of the wali, is to offer both psychological and financial support to the woman” (Zuhur 130). The wali also ensures that the behavior of the woman is in accordance to the expectations of the society. The role of the guardian is extended until the last minute of the engagement ceremony. “The husband after the wedding ceremony assumes the function of the wali, to preserve the honor of the woman” (Lamanna & Agnes 119).
In the Saudi Arabian society, the husband has total control over the husband in reinforcing all the aspect that the wife wishes to perform in future. The husband immediately after marriage will decide the next stage of life that the wife is supposed to live. This is for the reason that the wife in agreement to sign the marriage contract in some way agrees to abide by the husband. The husband will decide to affect the life of the woman in according to his wishes and preferences. “In the arranged marriage, the family of the woman has no power over their daughter” (Divakaruni 106). The woman no longer considered herself as a member of her family but now belongs to the family of the husband. For this reason, the husband has the choice to decide the activities that the wife will indulge into for the rest of her life. For instance, the husband can always restrict his wife not to work, not to attend any educational institution. In some instances, the husband will always restrict the wife not to leave the house. However, to some extent, in the current world, the women in Saudi Arabia still stick to the responsibilities that are associated to the natal family.
The arranged marriage in Indian also has similar perspective like the Saudi Arabian contract marriages. However, the diversity exists in the sense that the Indian arranged marriages mostly relay on the royal status of the family. “The family introduced the boy to the girl who will be his future wife at an early stage in life” (Lamanna & Agnes 171). Since the family and the cultural society usually consider the girl to be a potential spouse, only a single man is introduced in her life. From that tender age, the family ensures that the children know each other. During the teenager period, the family will make the intended reasons well known to the children. At this stage, it will be the children responsibility to determine the continuation of the relationship. However, in the Indian society, wealth is also an essential element considered before the selection of the potential spouse. “It is almost impossible for the rich to intermarry with the poor since the rich marry from the rich families” (Divakaruni 137).
The arranged marriages have both positive and negative aspects related especially to the husband, wife and the society. One of the key advantages of the arranged marriage is that the modern arranged marriages are based on the rational considerations. Since the parents are included in the matchmaking process, the life of the offspring is considered. “The parents choose the husband to marry their daughter deciding the life of the grandchildren” (Shetty 151).
An additional advantage is that the divorce rates for the arranged marriages vary compared to the love marriages. Since the arranged marriages involve the family members and prominent members of the society, and signing of marriage contracts, the divorce rates becomes lower compared to the love marriages. “In the entire Saudi Arabian society, the divorce rates are lower as 4% this is relative to the divorce rates in Australia which are higher than 45%” (Zuhur 101). In most love marriages, no adults are involved in the process hence contributing to the high rates of divorce. An additional advantage is the fact that the arranged marriages makes it easier for the individual in the society that would face problems finding marriage partners find a lifetime partner.
The disadvantages of the arranged marriages encompass of the future of the arranged marriages rely on the people involved in the matchmaking process. This implies that a force marriage between mismatched couples may not last. Another limitation of the arranged marriages is that an individual is only offered an option to marry the match selected by the elder or the parent. Since the potential couples are identified while still young, it limits the parties from exploring other people in the world. “In wife and husband that get married via the arranged marriages are naïve in nature because of lack of exposure” (Divakaruni 156).
Conclusion
The arranged marriage ought not to be confused with the forced marriages. In the arranged marriage, the couples to engage in marriage are selected while still young by family members, parents and prominent members of the society. In the recent years, a matchmaking agent plays a vital role in ensuring that the families select the best couple. “In the Indian communities, the relatives, religious leaders and the family members participate in the matchmaking process during the arranged marriages” (Lamanna & Agnes 184). In the forced marriage, no negotiation processes exists between the families of the couples. In most cases, in the forced marriage, only a single party is interested in the marriage process. The other parties, which in most cases are the women, forced to get married to the other partner hence not allowed to make a choice. In arranged marriages, the two parties have an option and time to learn the partner before the engagement process.
Source Summary
Divakaruni, Chitra B. One Amazing Thing. New York: Voice/Hyperion, 2009. Print.
In the book, “One Amazing Thing”, the author, Divakaruni Chitra reveals the fact that the world is occupied from people from diverse cultures. In analyzing the book, it is evident that the author focuses on the aspect of marriage in most of the chapters. One of the aspect of marriage covered by Divakaruni Chitra is the fact of arranged marriage. In discussing the arranged marriage, Divakaruni reveals that it is common in Asia; especially India and Saudi Arabia.
Shetty, Mahabala, Dr. Magic in Arranged Marriage: Is It for the West?Authorhouse, 2011. Print.
The author Mahabala Shetty identifies that the matchmaking process is the most vital in the arranged marriages. The book “Magic in Arranged Marriage” identifies that the guardian assists the woman in both psychological and financial support. Shetty insists that the guardian takes care of the woman until the last minute before the husband assumes the role.
Lamanna, Mary A, and Agnes C. Riedmann. Marriages & Families: Making Choices in a Diverse Society. Belmont, California: Thomson, 2009. Print.
In the book, “Marriages & Families: Making Choices in a Diverse Society” the authors Lamanna and Agnes in the first chapter identify after the matchmaking process, it is upon the couples to continue and sustain the relationship. In most chapters of the book, both Lamanna and Agnes discuss the main elements of the arranged marriages. The book also reveals that the arranged marriages are better than the love marriages.
Zuhur, Sherifa. Saudi Arabia. Santa Barbara, California: ABC-CLIO, 2011. Print.
In the book, “Saudi Arabia” the author Zuhur identifies to the reader the various measures that the royal families consider before selection of the most potential couple for the family members. In the book, aspects concerning arranged marriages such as matchmaking, engagement, contract signing and wedding are discussed in details. The author Zuhur also reveals the various limitations that women face especially since the husband makes crucial decision in her life.
Works cited
Divakaruni, Chitra B. One Amazing Thing. New York: Voice/Hyperion, 2009. Print.
Shetty, Mahabala, Dr. Magic in Arranged Marriage: Is It for the West?Authorhouse, 2011. Print.
Lamanna, Mary A, and Agnes C. Riedmann. Marriages & Families: Making Choices in a Diverse Society. Belmont, California: Thomson, 2009. Print.
Zuhur, Sherifa. Saudi Arabia. Santa Barbara, California: ABC-CLIO, 2011. Print.
