The following is the type of student response I’m looking for when it comes to “analyzing” a text. I want you to read through this response and comment on how the author mixes a summary of the article “Writing in Corporate America” along with her personal experiences. The end result is that it is neither summary or opinion, but a really nice analysis. I want you to write 150 to 200 words discussing how she “analyzes” the article and how she blends in her own personal experiences to strengthen her observation. After that, I want you to spend 100 to 150 words comparing it to what you wrote and in what ways you did well and in what ways you think you could have done differently. You will probably want to look at my responses to your corporate writing asssignment before you do this. Remember, you will be graded on how well you follow the instructions, creativity, logical flow of ideas, AND grammar. Always remember to proofread several times before you turn in anything to me.
Here is the student response:
In corporate America today, email has replaced the phone as the main form of communication. Therefore, writing skills are more essential than ever before. However, an entire one third of all employees do not know how to write properly. According to Sam Dillon, author of What Corporate America Can’t Build: A Sentence, this problem occurs not only in corporate emails, but reports and texts as well. While some employees tend to be too lengthy, others use too many abbreviations, misspell words, leave out or add unnecessary punctuation. This has caused a chaotic work environment, and led to corporations spending 3.1 billion dollars each year on remedial training for employees. As a college student, I have realized the importance of clarity and proper communication when writing essays, as well as personal correspondence. Incoherent personal messages and emails often end up ignored. Most commonly, my peers tend to overuse punctuation or leave it out entirely because it is convenient at the time. This usually leaves me wondering if the person was upset. Words are usually misspelled because the writer was in a hurry. However, if people would put more consideration and time into their messages, they could avoid causing so much trouble and confusion for their readers.
