Please edit my paper according to the following stuff.
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Does the introduction grab your attention, provide needed background info on the issue, and clearly present the line of reasoning and argument that the rest of the paper will explore? Your first paragraph is a great intro to the paper! I think in the first paragraph you have the word thorough but mean/need through. Your topic sentences are good and the information following them fits and is developed well. The second paragraph is a little bit mixed on the message. Is it still part of the intro? I’m also not sure about your reference to USA, Russia, and Britain. It seems as though you have a variety of countries included in this paper but your thesis is regarding South Korea and the USA. The second to last paragraph seems almost like a summary of the preceding paragraph, maybe incorporating it into the preceding paragraph or removing it would help the flow of the paper. I definitely see the flow of your argument and the paper is laid out well. Including some research or data about how the methods you discussed have helped lower drinking related issues or drinking rates would strengthen your argument. Your sources seem up-to-date and credible. I’m nor sure if the words Running Head are required on the first page and you are missing the required “I, name, affirm that I have completed…”. Your format looks correct, just make sure to cite all information that is paraphrased.
