Your essay is narrative rather than analysis. You tell the history of the French-Indian War but dont really answer the question of why Britain won, why it was victorious, what factors lead to its victory. These are things that you need top consider when writing. What events occurred and why did this lead to a British success? What was there about Britain, American, France, the Native Americans that contributed to a British victory in the war? Why were these factors important? Was one factor more important than the others, if so why?
There is no use of primary source material in your essay. You need to use primary source material. I can not stress enough the importance of its use. It is a vital part of the assessment criteria. Please ensure that you use it.
You have some historiography but you should consider historians opinions on the topic especially where those opinions are in conflict.
You dont need to have a header on every page, but you do need to include page numbers.
You also need to use MHRA for your footnotes and references. Please ensure you are familiar with the MHRA style guidelines,